I know what you're thinking -- but Bryan! You didn't watch the second one! Yeah... and I think that didn't exactly help me out in my not-having-a-damn-clue while I was watching this movie.
What I can tell you is that this movie is like 3 hours long, and if you're not prepared for a 3 hour long pirates movie, it might test your patience a bit, especially since after an hour and a half of having no recollection at all about what was happening in the movie, my brain called it quits.
It just said "Nope, Bryan. I'm not gonna do it. It's been a long week and there's quite frankly too much Orlando Bloom in this movie for me to tolerate any more than 10 minutes of this at a time."
So eventually my brain switched itself off and started thinking about kittens and muffins and how much I miss orange soda from back home.
How pathetic is that? My brain couldn't handle watching a pirates movie and had to give up.
Okay I'm going to just admit it. I didn't really get the third Pirates movie. I remember liking the second one pretty well, but in the third one where they get to the part where Jack is stuck in Davy Jone's Locker, it just loses me because... I don't get it.
I liked the little stone crab things though. I also like it when they get to the giant pirates hide out where all the pirate lords convene. But let me tell you, if you watch an hour and a half of this movie and spend the entire time waiting for that scene, you're going to be disappointed. Because it doesn't happen in the first half.
There's a lot of talking. Like a looooot of talking. More talking than is warranted in a movie about pirates (I think any dialogue other than "Arrrr!" is a bit superfluous).
And Kiera does a lot of mouth breathing. And Orlando Bloom looks annoyed at Keira. And Jack is weird. And Barbosa is awesome.
...But there's a lot of talking in this movie. Needless to say, I'm treating the first three movies as if they were four, and am only devoting my attention to half of this movie per sitting!
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