Johnny Depp is awesome. Geoffery Rush is a badass. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom hang out in an attempt to look pretty...
This movie is awesome. I hadn't watched it years and with the new having come out a few weeks ago, I decided to throw it on to rewatch it again... at 9:00 p.m.... on a Saturday... while hungover and exhausted. Little did I remember it was a two and a half hour movie that would probably end up putting me to sleep.
Thankfully my friend Jen came over to help me remain conscious through the adventure, and she even helped me learn that, well, did you know that Keira Knightly is a mouth breather? I had no clue until she pointed it out, and once I saw it, it could never be unseen. Girl seriously inhales through her mouth for the entire movie. I just imagine Gore Verbinski calling "Cut!" on the set, everyone getting quiet while he makes some notes, everyone except for the slow, rustling, wrasping sound of Keira Knightly and her mouth breathing.
There had to be a conversation about this off set between the other stars. Everyone standing around in full costume at the snack table, eating donuts, and debating what they do about it.
Depp: Someone has to say something to her about it.
Bloom: Yeah, go ahead, YOU say something to her.
Depp: I'm not gonna say it, YOU say it.
Bloom: Why does it have to be me!?
Depp: You're the one who's closest to her through the entire movie! If anyone else says something she'll know it was totally obvious!
Knightly: Hay guys! What's up! Ooo donuts! ....hehhhh.....hehhhhhh........hehhhhhhh
Depp: ....
Bloom: ....
Needless to say if you turned this into a drinking game, you'd need to have your stomach pumped.
Yet DESPITE Keira's silly breathing habits and Orlando's general pointlessness, this is a well told story. It's a fun adventure. I spent most of the movie going "I don't remember any of this at all..." but that wasn't by any means a bad thing. Once we got to the bit about the rum and Keira lighting an island on fire, I was sold. This movie is good.
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